Thursday, October 27, 2005

Chauncy Biggins Witnesses Felony

What a day! I was on my way to handle a bill with a collection agency (ironic, since I work in collections: I'll deal with them in good time-they'll wish they'd never heard of me) when I witnessed a serious crime. I was riding in the car with my dear old mum. (I know what you're all thinking. I have a car, I'm married, and I've got my own place damn it! I just happened to be with my mother today!) We came to a stop at the intersection of Main and High Street in Downtown Muncie, right next to the bus station. There was a man crossing on the crosswalk, exchanging words with a guy in a red, older model suv. The man on foot reached the curb, turned around and said something, pointing off to the south as if to give directions. I didn't hear him, but according to the other witnesses, the man said, "Why don't you get out of the car and say that?" Then the man in the car, sharply turned his wheels to the left and hit the accelerator, going over the curb and hitting the man with his left front fender. I heard the man's leg snap, and he rolled over the hood of the car, falling to the ground. The driver sped away. All the motorists at the intersection, including myself, jumped out of the car and ran to try to get the license plate number. One of the guys made out half of it. The victim, while failing to get up, said it didn't matter. He knew the guy. The police were there inside a minute, followed soon after by the ambulance. They took statements from all of us, and we each wrote a formal statement to include in the police report. The interesting thing is, none of the other witnesses could agree on what kind of car it was that hit him. My mother saw a white pickup truck. Another guy saw a red suburban. Another man said it was a silver GMC Jimmy. It's a good thing that guy knew who hit him, otherwise, they would never be able to catch him. I guess it shows how unreliable memory can be, especially in such extreme circumstances. I certainly hope the man is okay. And I hope the perp gets his ass nailed to the wall. I mean jesus, the guy did it in broad daylight, in front of dozens of people! If I find out any more about it, I'll give an update.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Chauncy Biggins Ties the Knot

Sorry ladies. Just got back from Maui on Tuesday. Quite fun. Got married on the beach to a lovely lady, who often goes by the moniker of Penelope Snood. I suppose that makes her Penelope Biggins. I don't think I'll be doing any real blogging for a few days. I'm still feeling the jet-lag. I still feel like it's five hours earlier than it is.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Oregon doctor sued for sex treatment for back pain

Now that's a crappily written sentence for a headline. Not mine. I took that straight off of Reuters. This story is pretty funny. The headline says it all. The part that gets me is the fact that the woman actually believed this guy. He was actually charging her for his "sex treatments." No word in the story about whether it actually worked or not. Perhaps he's the next Ignaz Semmelweis. Nah, I'm sure he's just a sick fuck.