Oh, no!!!!

Saddam Hussein is claiming mistreatment at the hands of coalition forces. Perhaps they gave him Cooler Ranch instead of Nacho Cheesier.

"Yes, I have been beaten, everywhere on my body. The marks are still there," Saddam told the court after sitting quietly listening to testimony. "And I'm not complaining about the Americans because I can poke their eyes with my own
hands."

I don't follow you on that last part, Saddam. Maybe it's bad translation. But here's one word of advice I'll give ya. Don't be trying that eye pokey thing on your guards. It will only lead to more beatings.