You may have read in newsmax that Ted Kennedy is planning a trip to Guantanamo Bay to "probe" allegations of lingerie-related abuse. Chauncy Biggins of the Cult of 7G has gotten the Massachussetts senator to agree to an interview.
Biggins: Tell us about your reasons for going to Gitmo.
Kennedy: Well, er um, when I heard of lingerie being abused, I knew that I had to go down and investigate.
Biggins: Actually, the allegations are that prison guards used lingerie in their interrogations of prisoners.
Kennedy: Even worse! The very thought of sexy female GI's cavorting around in lingerie in front of large groups of howling, cat-calling inmates, er um, turns my stomach. These women require my immediate investigation!
Biggins: Well, according to the news reports, and eye-witness testimony, the prison guards were actually forcing the male inmates to wear the lingerie, like putting thongs on their heads.
Kennedy: On the guys? Hmmmm. That's kind of queah.
Biggins: They come from a very morally conservative islamic background, and this treatment is very effective in interrogation.
Kennedy: Well, I personally have had a thong on my head several times, and I er um, know how tragic it can be. Especially if you don't have any ones. I just have one question.
Biggins: Yes?
Kennedy: Will there be booze?
Saturday, July 16, 2005
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